Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers was a “Red-carpet fashion laureate, comic icon, and outspoken superstar.” who got her big break on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson many, many moons ago. 

On stage and on chat shows, jokes would stream from her lips; “A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes she’s a tramp.” “My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” “I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life. Peeping Toms look at my window and pull down the shade.” “My gynaecologist examines me by telephone.” “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” “I knew I wasn’t wanted when I was born with a coat hanger in my mouth.” “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."“

The reason she broke the mould and became a hit was that, unlike everyone else doing the rounds, there were no limits or taboos. Days after her husband committed suicide she joked to her daughter while at dinner, “If Daddy were here and saw these prices, he’d kill himself all over again.”  

She was born Joan Molinsky. Her biographer had a theory that whilst growing up Joan was very jealous of her older sister as Joan’s sister was prettier, smarter, more popular and got a law degree. “Her former manager believed Joan idolized Donald Trump because she idolized wealth. “She was so impressed with the fact that he was a billionaire. Joan was really scarred by the financial insecurity of her childhood. Money was a huge goal for her. It really meant a lot to her to have it. Money gives you power and options. She had seen her mother have neither. That was agonizing to her as a child. I think she really was dazzled by Trump’s wealth.”  

When asked when one should start having nips and tucks, Rivers replied, “The younger the better.” At 75 years old, Rivers published a book Men Are Stupid And They Like Big Boobs: A Woman’s Guide to Beauty Through Plastic Surgery. But her best selling book was, “The Life and Hard Times of Heidi Abromowitz”. Although, yes, It's just an opportunity for Joan to use up lots of her one liners, it is very funny. Here’s a few quips chosen at random; “My old school friend Heidi has been on her knees more times than Billy Graham, she's been responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood, I’m not saying she’s a tramp but she’s entertained more troops than Bob Hope.”

When Rivers died, Chris Rock said that he couldn’t follow her, meaning if she was on stage he couldn’t compete and come on stage straight after. This is the best compliment one comedian can say about another.

Harry Pye