André the Bear
Q & A with André the Bear
Earliest childhood memory or ambition.
To be warmer. I was an oddball. Everyone else seemed to have thicker fur. I think this was very formative.
Private school or state school? University or straight into work?
My formal education? - Track Trace Mate Kill Eat. I always felt there was more to life than that. Now I'm living in a big city, I realise I was wrong. But here, the process is dressed up nicer, which is something - maybe everything.
Who was/is your mentor?
My mother, who let me stick with her for a few seasons before I was expected to make my own way; my father - who was never really there, but from time to time would show up and try to kill me before I became a threat. Gave me an edge, you know?
How physically fit are you?
Could be better, but enough. I’d probably find it tougher now wrestling a caribou to the floor; on the other hand, I walk everywhere (people seemed to freak out when I use public transport, even before Covid). I never get hassled in pubs - even when they’re open, so I guess I look reasonably hench.
Ambition or talent - which matters more to success?
How are you defining success, here? I mean, if you’re talking about wealth or fame, then you’re just internalising the self-justifying values of capitalism, which - how can you be a success if you’re just a walking embodiment of ideological alienation?
What would you like to own that you don’t currently possess?
A non-melting polar ice-cap.
What’s your biggest extravagance?
I collect waistcoats. Vintage, modern – you name it.
André and his book collection
In what place are you happiest?
I get a real buzz out of art - looking at it, protecting it, watching other people dig it, talking about it, making it. And swimming in any stretch of fish-filled water - I have to confess I still get a thrill feeling the collective terror I induce. And last year my friends took me to Regent’s Park Zoo for my birthday. You should have seen those penguins freak out! Never seen a Polar Bear before, but they just knew! It’s not cool, I know, very retro, but you know - it is what it is.
What do you find most irritating in other peoples? And bears?
Still pretty unresolved relationship with my dad, for trying to kill me every time we met. Here in London? People tend to judge you up front a lot. That’s if they even stay around. Then, other end of that scale, you get the thrill-seekers hitting on you, you know, just treating you like a big piece of meat. And fur.
Do you believe in life after death?
How about life before death? Hahahaha! See what I did? No, but seriously, I try not to waste time speculating on things you can never know for sure. On the other hand, if there is one, then I am going to get so much hassle off so many fish. And seals. And walruses! On the other hand, if it’s better than this one, I guess they’ll be thanking me.
Rate your satisfaction with your life so far out of 10
Dude, I am so not into that kind of reductive paradigm. I would say, eleven.
Questions by Nick Revell
