Graham Bendel
What I have noticed or learned (mostly on a low to middlebrow level) over the last couple of years, having had more time to think than I usually do.
It’s taken me a while — all my life, approximately — to realise I’m uncomfortable with my surname. It just doesn’t sound right. Kind of clunky, unsophisticated, etc. If I was to marry I’d probably insist that the woman stuck to her own name. Unless I married JULIE BINDEL, who’d most likely not be too arsed about changing just one letter. Though not sure the radical feminist / lesbian firebrand would be in such a hurry to tie the knot in the first place.
Nearly everything anyone knows about politics and economics are wrong. I think we all agree on this, no need to explore this one any further.
I like Adam Sandler films and make no apology for this. I love Punch Drunk Love, The Waterboy, all his shitty comedies and I haven’t even got round to seeing Uncut Gems.
Teenagers and sideburns do not go.
Watching Family Guy, I find, is therapeutic. Even when it’s not that funny. Incidentally, I have a friend who used to watch Frasier because she found Kelsey Grammar’s voice relaxing and the show put her at ease. If anything, the gags, the mayhem — as hilarious and farcical as it all was — were a disruption to the wonderfully tranquilising effect of merely hearing his voice.
Additional Note: Interesting that Kurt Cobain and Frasier had so much in common: a cold-hearted wife, a single child and an initial fanbase in Seattle.
I don’t suffer from stress, anxiety or depression much these days. For that I am lucky but if ever I do get the odd debilitating bout, I do the following things:
a) Try to imagine Latka (Andy Kaufman in Taxi) attempting to sing Purple Rain by Prince.
b) Try to imagine Prince doing a Joe Pesci impersonation. (Though if I’m honest, this one demands a lot of concentration and that in itself can be frustrating, stressful and ultimately counterproductive).
Most of the bands I like, their names start with the letter S. There’s Subway Sect, Supertramp, Sly and the Family Stone, Stereolab, Silver Apples, Snapped Ankles, Showaddywaddy and Sebadoh.
Uri Geller looks like he could be the father of the lead singer of the Super Furry Animals.
Oh and Super Furry Animals (begins with S).
I don’t know much about the Star Wars films but have recently wondered — slightly outside of the narrative — if Chewbacca was allowed to use the same toilet facilities as Luke Skywaker and Han Solo; or did he use some massive litter tray arrangement, meant specifically for himself?
There’s an obvious beauty in the unobtainable or something not yet in your grasp. I’ve always known this. I remember some months back telling musician Stuart Moxham that I never actually owned a copy of his Young Marble Giant’s Colossal Youth LP and listened to it when I could at various friends, or I’d hear tracks on the radio. Not having the LP somehow made it feel more majestic, more exalted, more necessary.
He turned to me, pondering on what I’d told him, and said soberly: ‘Why didn't you just buy a copy?’
I’ve always strongly suspected that Mary Berry (the cook and TV celebrity), underneath her clothes — is heavily tattooed. She has a sheepish expression that suggests to me that she’s hiding something.
Graham Bendel is a writer and filmmaker who’s made films on Billy Childish, Martin Newell and Vic Godard. His latest book is called The Comforter & other rose-tinted struggles which is available from Waterstones, Amazon and fortunetellerpress.com
