Aquarius
Astrology with Jo Mama
Part Two
February 2020
Welcome back my beautiful friends, I wonder if you have even the faintest idea how much I love you? Pull up a chair and sit yourself down. The time has come to turn our attention to Aquarians...
‘You better shape up’ sings Olivia Newton John to Aquarian John Travolta in the hit movie, Grease. It would be a happy day if all Aquarians decided to sort themselves out and stop being annoying. But, to be honest, it probably wont happen.
Aquarian men lack the ability to empathize. Aquarian women (Rosa Parks, Yoko Ono, Amanda Holden) are aloof. Aquarians are all repressed, and they burst under pressure but they can create things that are astonishing.
Mozart's sign was Aquarius. Ask a musician to try and play Mozart's Piano Sonata in D Major K.576 for you. Can they do it? No, they can't. James Joyce's sign was Aquarius. Ask an English teacher to explain Joyce's novel, Finnegan's Wake to you. Does it make sense? Of course it doesn't! If you want to understand what goes on in an Aquarian artist's head take a look at the 160 foot mural that Jackson Pollock made in 1943. The Aquarian art critic Clement Greenberg commented, ‘I took one look at it and I knew Jackson Pollock was the greatest painter this country had ever produced.’ I doubt very much that you'll be as convinced of Jack the Dripper's genius.
It's sad but true — everyone born between the 21st of Jan and the 18th of Feb can't ever be really trusted. Aquarians are a rather dodgy lot. A famous Royal that's true to his sign is Andrew Windsor (A.K.A. ‘Randy Andy Duke of Pork’). When Aquarian Andrew went on TV to discuss his friendship with fellow Aquarian Jeffrey Epstein with Virgo Emily Maitlis the result was so disastrous the Prince ended up being sacked by his own Mum! Viewers saw that, like all Aquarians, Andrew was loyal to his creepy friend, but when quizzed about children forced into being sex workers, where was Andrew's empathy and compassion?
If you'd like some advice I'd say, "Never vote for a Aquarian". The most successful Aquarian in politics is famous nut job, Kim Jong - and he's not exactly dripping with goodblokeness. The saving grace of the Aquarius is their mad sense of humour. Aquarians are curious of the unknown, open minded and they like to surprise and shock. Norman Wisdom, Emo Phillips, Terry Jones, Eddie Izzard, Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown, Vic Reeves, and Chris Rock are all different and yet all have an energy and self destructive streak due to the fact Aquarius is ruled by Uranus the planet of unpredictability, rebellion and detachment.
Although I'm sure we've all laughed heartily at Norman Wisdom falling over and guffawed at Benny Hill slapping an elderly bald man on the head — there is a problem with Aquarian humour in that, after a while, if you know the comedian is going to always be unpredictable inevitably their comedy will become predictable. Chris Rock uses the N-word, Yoko Ono gets in a bag and screams, Alice Cooper wears make-up and pretends to bite the head off a chicken, Oliver Reed gets drunk, Terry Jones gets naked, Eddie Izzard puts on a dress — after a while it becomes expected of them, their behaviour is no longer shocking and the laughs dry up. C'est la vie.
In 2020 there will be 6 eclipses taking place as opposed the normal 4. Saturn enters Aquarius in December where it will remain till 2023. There will be lots of exciting new opportunities for those born under the penultimate sign of the western zodiac. I strongly advise Aquarians to stay away from Scorpios (it will end in tears like it always does) and I ask any Aquarians reading to please try and be nicer, and please try, as Olivia Newton John requested, to shape up!
